Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Coffee. Diet Coke. A Donut (formerly has already been....taken care of).

That's what sits in front of me at my desk at the barely 8:00 hour on this fine Wednesday morning.

Stressy? Who, me?

This jolty sugar/caffeine infused trifecta is certainly not the healthiest way to deal with the stress-that-shall-not-be-discussed-for-the-time-being, but it's the best I can do today.

Oh Jesus, Take the Wheel. Amen.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Flip/Turned/Upside Down

My whole life has been one big (shit) sack of surprises (ok not fair, definitely a mix of manure and roses though). And along the way, I've realized how much I (mostly) hate surprises (unless those surprises are carefully inspired from a pre-fabricated, Molly-approved list). But, after years of therapy, I've gotten much better at coping with the unexpected, and if it's possible to factor surprises into my innate need to constantly plan ahead, then that's what I try to do, that is to say, expect the unexpected.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a tragic dramedy sitcom...I bet my collection of life experiences might be stranger than most...even though to most it seems like I probably have a pretty normal upbringing and display a fairly grounded self.

If my life were, in fact, a tragic dramedy sitcom, it might resemble bits and pieces of the following: Weeds, Modern Family, My So Called Life, Allie McBeal, Midwest Forecast Local On the Eights (yeah, from the Weather Channel and its abounding thrills - don't hate), Once and Again, Ugly Betty, and Criminal Minds. OK, I'm kidding on the Criminal Minds part. But, take several character arches and plot curves from the other shows, blend vigorously, throw in some added dysfunction, a pinch of political upheaval, and a heavy dose of cynicism and plenty of eye rolling hardy har har sarcasm, and something like that will resemble something like me and my life.

Looks can be deceiving. If I ever get around to writing an autobio...well, the judgment you may have passed on my book's cover may prove to be completely false...

Every time I turn around, I'm faced with another unexpected surprise or challenge. At 29 (and holy shit, almost 30), I am no where near resembling the regimented suburbia baby maker/housewife that scares me so (and yet I sometimes envy). I have yet to figure out settling down bit...and it doesn't look like that's going to happen for at least a few more years.

On a semi-related note, it's weird what details stick with you over the years. When I was 18, our high school "grad bash" included a palm reader. My "fortune" was vague (shocker), but I remember explicitly that the palm reader said my life would basically remain in a state of chaos for the next 15 years (wow, you mean my 20's are going to be full of twists and turns? Again, color me shocked). So...Right-o....only 3 years to go according to the palm reader...and I'm definitely more ready for the suburbia-calm family life than I may outwardly project (but definitely not there yet).

But, until then, the surprises just keep coming. Whether I like them or not.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

(Almost) The Ides of March

February update is long overdue, here it is - along with some March thrown in.

Weight loss: Another 5 lbs shed in February - for a total of 15 lbs gone.

Running: Not the best in Feb (and sneak preview - won't be great in March either...) But, I knocked out a total of 31.2 miles in Feb for a grand total of 65.4 miles in in 2010 as of the end of February. For the record, I've only run 4 miles so far in March. I've been battered by colds this season (3 in total), and work has been such a drain on me lately. Excuses though, right...back on the horse, giddyup.

Work: no comment.

Personal: a blur, clouded by work, by the waiting game, by health issues.

All in all, not an award-winning month, I was happy to put it behind me...and frankly March has come in like a lion, so I can only hope the out-like-a-lamb bit holds true. This month I continue to log long and draining days at work, struggle with ongoing health issues that I can't quite shake, wait in limbo for life changing news, deal with drama at home (a burst pipe and some major water damage), cater to a sick and stinky feline (not Timmy, surprisingly)...And all these little battles are sucking the fighting spirit right out of me. At this point, the only option I have is...well, I NOT fight life so much, and just accept that shit happens. I'm holding onto the hope that the load of fertilizer that has been shoveled my way lately will result in dozens of big, fat roses - and fast.

On the good side, I have a new doctor and a new medication that I am hopeful will bring me some relief. Also my sister came to Chicago for a visit this weekend, and my good friend Heather too, so double bonus. And, I was on the winning flip cup team at yesterday's St Patty's day festivities (still got it, after all these years - heh). These are all small, but important victories....keep 'em coming please, I'm ready for the scale to tip in a more positive direction.

Monday, March 8, 2010

So...a guy walked into a bar...

I did dishes tonight...and sometimes I SWEAR those dishes multiply, almost like they are procreating in the sink.

It must be because they are so DIRTY DIRTY!

OMG I crack myself up! I totally made that joke up this weekend! hahahahaaaa, funny funny me!


I logged into Facebook today (that which was given up for Lent).

I logged on in order to de-link my blog from my FB account and that is it. I mean, if someone wants to find this blog, well fine then, they will likely find it. But, I'd rather remove the direct connect to feel slightly less exposed, even if it's just a superficial bandaid fix.

If feeling exposed is such a concern, well then why don't I just keep a private journal on the nightstand, and ohhhhh, I don't know...not publish it on the web?

Valid question.

Is "to feel an anonymous connection" an acceptable enough response? Or is it an oxymoron? Or does it sound a little kinky? Or maybe it sounds trite?

Yes. No. No, gutterball. I don't care.

It's not personal...'s business.

Ever have one of those days? Well, I have one of those jobs.