Sunday, March 28, 2010

Flip/Turned/Upside Down

My whole life has been one big (shit) sack of surprises (ok not fair, definitely a mix of manure and roses though). And along the way, I've realized how much I (mostly) hate surprises (unless those surprises are carefully inspired from a pre-fabricated, Molly-approved list). But, after years of therapy, I've gotten much better at coping with the unexpected, and if it's possible to factor surprises into my innate need to constantly plan ahead, then that's what I try to do, that is to say, expect the unexpected.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a tragic dramedy sitcom...I bet my collection of life experiences might be stranger than most...even though to most it seems like I probably have a pretty normal upbringing and display a fairly grounded self.

If my life were, in fact, a tragic dramedy sitcom, it might resemble bits and pieces of the following: Weeds, Modern Family, My So Called Life, Allie McBeal, Midwest Forecast Local On the Eights (yeah, from the Weather Channel and its abounding thrills - don't hate), Once and Again, Ugly Betty, and Criminal Minds. OK, I'm kidding on the Criminal Minds part. But, take several character arches and plot curves from the other shows, blend vigorously, throw in some added dysfunction, a pinch of political upheaval, and a heavy dose of cynicism and plenty of eye rolling hardy har har sarcasm, and something like that will resemble something like me and my life.

Looks can be deceiving. If I ever get around to writing an autobio...well, the judgment you may have passed on my book's cover may prove to be completely false...

Every time I turn around, I'm faced with another unexpected surprise or challenge. At 29 (and holy shit, almost 30), I am no where near resembling the regimented suburbia baby maker/housewife that scares me so (and yet I sometimes envy). I have yet to figure out settling down bit...and it doesn't look like that's going to happen for at least a few more years.

On a semi-related note, it's weird what details stick with you over the years. When I was 18, our high school "grad bash" included a palm reader. My "fortune" was vague (shocker), but I remember explicitly that the palm reader said my life would basically remain in a state of chaos for the next 15 years (wow, you mean my 20's are going to be full of twists and turns? Again, color me shocked). So...Right-o....only 3 years to go according to the palm reader...and I'm definitely more ready for the suburbia-calm family life than I may outwardly project (but definitely not there yet).

But, until then, the surprises just keep coming. Whether I like them or not.

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