Cocktail Party

Recently, I was asked what my most impressive cocktail party line about myself would be. I was caught with my pants down on that one, and had no idea what to say. Pants down metaphorically. Not literally. I have a lot of weight left to lose before that's going to happen.

Anyway, I've had a bit of time to ponder, and came up with what I think is a range of highly interesting (and of course highly appropriate) factoids about myself to help spark conversation with potential new friends and contacts. They are all true, and now all I have to do is choose the best. Not sure how I'm going to do that- all of these are such winners! Anyway, here goes...

“I can do an impressive wild turkey call.”

“I am fluent in pig-latin.”

“I once played Whirly ball with Jason Mraz...ok, well not him, but his roadies.”

“In 2003, I met Jeff Timmons, member of the boy band 98 degrees, and did you know he is extremely short in real life? ”

“I’ve shared multiple elevator rides with David Copperfield.”

“I once hired an animal psychic to do a reading on my cats.”

“Turns out, my bologna has a first name.”

“I used to be in a band. Marching band.”

“My first CD was ‘The Sign’ by Ace of Base."

“I am known far and wide for my dead-on geese, rat, and giraffe impressions."

“My porn star name is ‘Misty Brookmoor.’ You know, where you combine your first pet’s name with the street you grew up on...hm… ok…never mind.”

“I once spilled a drink on Ryder Strong, of ‘Boy Meets World’ fame.”

“I know people who know people.”

“When I was a kid, I took comp-ed trips to Vegas. That's how I rolled when I was six.”

“I have an ancestor named Benona. No, not ‘Banana’; 'Benona.'”

“I may or may not know all the lyrics to ‘Baby Got Back.’”

“I have an irrational fear of bull sharks. They can survive in fresh water. In fact, there is a documented case of a bull shark that was caught in Lake Michigan. Maybe my fear isn’t so irrational after all, eh?”

“I’m a forceps baby.”

“Wanna hear me crack my jaw?”