Broken Record

I'm not doing a very good job at keeping up with this blog...but I want to do a better job, so does that mean I get an A for ambition? In any case, I'm droppin' my knowledge now, so that's got to count for something, right?

So anyway...as I mentioned last month, I am currently trying to lose weight (yeah yeah, it's the same old story, still trying to lose weight just like I was a year ago). But THIS time, I have a whole staff (ok fine. only 2 people.) of expensive health professionals to help keep me accountable.

Today, I met with the newest member of my health and wellness squad. I now have a dietician that I am seeing every other week to go with my personal trainer, who I am now seeing twice a week. I feel like quite the rich bitch with my fancy-schmancy gym, personal trainer, and dietician. If they can't help keep me accountable, then maybe my diminishing checking account that's funding my fitness entourage will do the trick.

Even though both of my trainer (Greg) and my dietician (Laura) have succeeded in making me cry (the scale's a bitch after all, and oh! the aches and pains of squats!), I absolutely adore them both. When I met with Laura this evening, I took a body composition test that confirmed I have some lbs to shed (uh....duh), but I have a lot more muscle mass than I realized (I'm above average! I'm strong!) It was actually kind of empowering to confirm what I really am a relatively healthy person hiding underneath a layer of pudge. And it gave me hope that maybe, despite the extra weight I’ve been carrying around for the past 7 years, I really can get back to my former pre-2005 average-weighted self. Today at Laura's urging, I am completely abandoning the scale, and until I meet my weight goal, she will be the only one who knows my weight. I am also focusing on the ‘small wins’ and realistic, attainable goals. My first tasks? Cut out 1 diet-soda a day (since artificial sweeteners can apparently induce cravings), double my current level of water intake, and keep a food diary of what I eat (but no calorie counting – just the food tracking). Sounds easy enough – I can do this!

Tomorrow morning bright and early I have a training session. Right now, these workouts scare the shit out of me. Because I’ve been a runner (albeit slow) on and off for years, I am in really great cardio condition. But, I suck when it comes to muscle conditioning. In my last session, the weight lifting shot my heart rate up so fast, that I got dizzy and my trainer had to get me apple juice while I sat with my head between my knees. How. Utterly. Embarrassing. My trainer was very reassuring, and promised me that if I keep up with my workouts, I will overcome. So, I’m choosing to rise above my embarrassment and persevere. Hopefully by the end of the year, I’ll be 80% of the woman I used to be! As they say, Time (...and my check book) Will Tell.